Setting Up Shop

Ok, I'm jumping in. I'm going to start selling my photos. Yup. I'm just full of surprises this week. Oh, by the way, my seziure inducing decision? I'm going back to church.

So anyway, I'm getting my shop ready over at Etsy.com. The more I look at the pictures I will be putting over there, the more excited I get. And, proud. Several people have commented lately at their appreciation of my point of view. I had never really considered it, you always see what you see. It is an interesting concept to consider that others don't see things the same way you do, even though you are standing at the same viewpoint.

Having said that, I would like to take advantage of your viewpoint. I don't believe in overly photoshoping a photo. I find great joy in looking at a photo and knowing that what comes from the camera is the memory I wanted to capture. Changing it is devaluing the memory. But, some photos need a tiny bit of help to bring out their character.

This iris grew in my Mom's garden, this spring. When adjusting the color and contrast, I couldn't decide between pre color adjustment or post. Please tell me what you think...

Raw

I have avoided really talking in this space. Out of fear, pride, embarrassment, hiding behind the person people think I am. If I have learned anything in this past year, one of the most important things has to be that what I was doing, wasn't working.

I must warn you though, going forward, I may say things that will hurt you, will make you cry, will shock you, maybe confuse you. But, I can't hide behind myself anymore. I need to open myself up to the fact that I have things inside of me that need to come out. Locking myself away doesn't help me become the person I could be, and if he taught me anything, it's that I will never be the same person I was before I met him.

And for that I am eternally grateful.

I miss him with an ache that haunts me. I can still feel him searching, his face grazing my cheek. Watching the video of him having a bath, relishing in getting his hair washed. I have NEVER met anyone so peaceful, so calm and open to the new world around them.

In time, I want to talk about my experience. What got me here, and what I want to do in learning from all that has happened. But for now, I am grieving and am so thankful to be able to do it in the cocoon of my parents home. Mom, you help me just by being there. I love you.