Setting Up Shop

Ok, I'm jumping in. I'm going to start selling my photos. Yup. I'm just full of surprises this week. Oh, by the way, my seziure inducing decision? I'm going back to church.

So anyway, I'm getting my shop ready over at Etsy.com. The more I look at the pictures I will be putting over there, the more excited I get. And, proud. Several people have commented lately at their appreciation of my point of view. I had never really considered it, you always see what you see. It is an interesting concept to consider that others don't see things the same way you do, even though you are standing at the same viewpoint.

Having said that, I would like to take advantage of your viewpoint. I don't believe in overly photoshoping a photo. I find great joy in looking at a photo and knowing that what comes from the camera is the memory I wanted to capture. Changing it is devaluing the memory. But, some photos need a tiny bit of help to bring out their character.

This iris grew in my Mom's garden, this spring. When adjusting the color and contrast, I couldn't decide between pre color adjustment or post. Please tell me what you think...

Back To The Future

Scanned some old photos yesterday, to prepare a package to send to Z. Reminded me of a PostSecret postcard I saw a few months ago "I often miss the little girl whose dreams had no barriers, who believed in a world where anything is possible, with a heart that was full and unbroken." I look forward to trying to start my life anew, creating a fresh path. I have no idea how to do that quite yet, but I'm willing to be open to the possibilities.

1000 Words

I want to start a series of posts on photos that I've taken and a little story behind them. How cliche of me to title the series "1000 Words", especially since I won't be tracking the word count or even coming close to that amount. Always unpredictable.


Location: Bethesda Terrace, Central Park
Date: Spring, circa 2003

I was living in New Jersey and had taken the train in to New York City on one of my regular day trips. I had fallen in love with the city before I had ever seen it in person. If NYC was my soul mate, then Central Park was our love child. In the few times I've been there, I have barely scratched the surface of the potential.

I had been wandering through the park, not really aiming for a particular destination. Just strolling along the paths, allowing them to guide me in their own directions. As I got closer to Bethesda Terrace, I could hear a quiet music flowing through the spring air. Violin. Soft and slow, touching and graceful. Reminding me of one of my great loves, being in the presence of a live orchestra. Very few things bring my heart to a swell as does the rise and fall of such emotional music.

The light was perfect. Filtering through the trees, cutting across the grass, bouncing off the pavement, highlighting the secret treasures throughout the park. And then I came to the stairs. A perfect silhouette. Standing alone, beneath the terrace. The chamber of architecture amplifying his tune. I have no idea what piece he was gracing me with. But it was exactly what I needed to hear. It made me weep.

It is one of those moments that you wish you could capture and lock away in a box. Revisit days and years later, attempting to savor the same feelings and sensations as when it first became a part of you. I suppose that is why I find such fulfillment in taking photographs. I enjoy the ability to grasp that one moment in time that I'm afraid I might forget.

A Change Is Building Up

Within my faults and failings, there has always been one that has stood out among the rest. There were times I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel but there were also times I could conquer the beast. It never seemed to be something I should or would eventually take seriously. My, how life does show us how wrong we are sometimes.

I still don't know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I thought I'd got it made
It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face me
But I've never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I'm much too fast to take that test
-David Bowie "Changes"


I'm not saying I'm on the road, but for right now I am reading the directions.

Landed

Well, I wanted to wait until I got settled on the latest Lily Pad before I said anything. I have been in Durham for a week and a half and so far, so good. I'm not doing what I had originally thought I would be when I started this blog but, I am happy with my decision. It is tough but ultimately, what I should be doing. I enjoy my work and it is a relief to look forward to it, unlike the years of dreading other jobs.

Life is almost as it should be. I don't believe in life being perfect. Anything to be so, for that matter. I could not expect to grow as a person if I had and was everything I expected. I enjoy the challenge of learning, wanting, hoping. Who is showing me that it is possible to find a compliment to myself and while the road is still very slow, I am grateful that his patience is so far reaching.

Next Pad to be Jumped: Create, Do, Shoot.

Poundage, Gobble Gobble

Two days in a row. Phone rings, I wake up not knowing which way is up. "Are you going to work today?" @$#*%@#**$#@@!! WHAT?!?!??! CRAP!!!! Thankfully my boss laughed when I called her and mumbled that I was on my way. The bright side is that it makes the day blessedly shorter.

Next week the whole entire family will be here for Thanksgiving. I am so excited about it I keep forgetting that they won't be here for Christmas as well. We have lists and lists of food requests. What? You want me to share the list? Well, ok...

-Pumpkin Bars
-Apple Pie
-Afghan Lamb Kabobs
-Apple Crisp
-Bundt Bread
-1lb Butter Mashed Potatoes
-Krispy Kreme Donuts
-Golden Corral Yeast Rolls
-Pumpkin Bars

I'm sure there is more but for now those extra 30 pounds we are all going to put on is enough.

Took a break from The Project today. Had a friend ask me to paint him something and I have to get working on that. Even if it is a Hand Turkey. Silly Toby, it's gonna be the nicest Hand Turkey you have ever seen!!!!

Pathos

So, these lily pads. You know the ones that I named all of this after? The ones that sit at the top of the page? Well, I have been trying to figure out what next step to make in my life for well, years. But, since I put that picture up on my desk about a month ago, my mind has been racing. So many things I want to do, but can I do them? Why not, other people do them? I'm good at these things, why shouldn't I?

Questions, questions.

I bought new paint supplies this weekend. I have been aching to paint for a while now but have been holding back. I feel too self-conscious, too inadequate, too amateur. Finally I said to myself "Self, you like it. It helps. DO IT!"

So, I have some plans. I'm not ready to talk about them yet but I am so excited I think I may just bust out of my seams. People are going to think I'm crazy but, they are also going to think that I should have done this a long time ago.

I'm ready to jump to the next pad. It's a big one.